Liars we were all
to ourselves first then to one another
believing we were brothers, lovers, fighters, doers, movers, shakers
thinking we were together weathered soldiers, belonging, bigger
when we were hiders, ashamed, pointless criers.
We chose our pride
And when outsiders eyed
our honor we protected the concept using jarred faces assembled in the doorway of an unhappy house.
Who was it for?
For us first, we constructed
For outsiders, first we crumbled
as we clung to an idea of presentation
like a homeless man throwing a cocktail party after sweeping the rat droppings under the rug.
Searching for saviors in dirty streets and sheets
lying with one another about a whisper
passed on with two tongues and fear-shadowed eyes
those windows to our unresting souls.
If ever we were born innocent, we have certainly
Thankful for the brainwashing un-blaming us for our abnormality, our disgusting practices warped into lifestyles with the speed of light.
The lie was in the music and in the dance –
the happiest false presentation –
the only places we assumed bodies could not hide.
Yet, marvel! marvel! We hid all.
And so did some of you,
but you are washed, cleansed, chosen, bloodied, broken, blessed, forgiven, feeling brothers, together lovers of something bigger than ourselves and the lie
of our lost universe
spread like a vast field naked of farmers to harvest.
We are criers for the wooled eyes of stupid lambs.
But we were stupid.
Or we were vicious.
We were wolves.
For the strength of the pack is the wolf
and the strength of the wolf is the pack.
But the strength of the lamb is the shepherd.
And the good shepherd laid down his strength for the lamb.
*For my siblings – my wolf pack.*
*I hope one day we’re all part of the flock.*